Internal Adept Diary

Order of Nine Angles



Dyssolving: Diary Of An Internal Adept


The Diary of an Internal Adept is a remarkable document that deserves to be better known. The pdf document contains a transcription of the handwritten journal of an Occult initiate written in the 1990s: an honest and revelatory narration of the three-month long O9A Grade Ritual of Internal Adept undertaken in the Outer Hebrides, and makes it evident that the anados (ἄνοδος) of the O9A Seven Fold Way is a personal, a difficult, and an essentially pagan, quest which in its fourth (Internal Adept) stage involves, as one reviewer wrote, “complete oblivion for the ego”. {1}

In an understated way it reveals the allegations, the assumptions, the misinformation, the propaganda, the rants, of O9A critics and of the politically motivated opponents of the O9A for the assumptions, the misinformation, the propaganda, the rants, that they are.

As the author of the Diary writes:

“Looking back over the experiences of the last ten or so years, I felt a new awareness beyond my own personal desires and goals. An awareness of the essential goodness and unselfishness of people, which can easily be missed, amidst the fervour of one’s ego. It is an awareness of the ‘light’ side that balances the fanatical ‘dark’. To learn to give in an unselfish way. To learn tolerance, and become part of a greater struggle to bring human decency and honourable behaviour. To do something for others, for no personal gain.”

That is, as mentioned in several O9A texts ignored by O9A critics and by opponents of the O9A, such as the text Enantiodromia: The Sinister Abyssal Nexion, {2} there is a transition to, an experiencing of, ‘the numinous’ as opposed to the experiencing of ‘the sinister’ that marks the first three stages of the Seven Fold Way. A ‘numinous’ experiencing – an individuation – which is a prelude to the next stage: the Enantiodromia (ἐναντιοδρομίας) of The Abyss which is a melding of and then a passing beyond both ‘the numinous’ and ‘the sinister’.


{1} The review is included in the pdf file as an appendix.